Dempsey's & Harper's Births
Vanessa was my midwife for both of my births. I had planned home births on the Community Midwifery Program and an uncomplicated pregnancy, labour and birth both times. In saying that though, I am not really a go with the flow type when it comes to having babies, definitely a get all the information possible and make decisions for me type, so I declined most prenatal testing and ultrasounds. Whilst this isn’t widely accepted in the world of obstetrics and is even frowned upon by many, it was what I wanted and I made the decisions based on good information. Vanessa supported me and advocated for my right to make those decisions – I am forever grateful for that.
The other thing I really remember about my first pregnancy, in particular, was the pressure that statement “I’m having a home birth” applies and then people always clarified that to me with “oh well, I guess you are a midwife, so that makes it easier”. I’m sorry but I missed that class at uni! In fact sometimes the opposite is actually true, sometimes midwives carry a lot of fear which makes it harder. Vanessa was able to help me stay focussed and let go of what was out of my control.
My first labour started a couple of hours after my water broke. I was quite noisy early, very introverted and couldn’t communicate with other people which probably freaked my partner out a bit, so he called Vanessa to come quite early. Vanessa again helped me to find my focus that helped me to get through. I was almost scared of getting in the birth pool because to me, that was my last resort, if I got in the pool and couldn’t cope – then what, transfer to hospital? Of course, with encouragement from Vanessa, I got in and it was worth it. And I got in and out of it several times over the course of the day. Emptied the hot water system over and over. Vanessa was there when I needed her and in the background when I didn’t. She was patient and calm. Dempsey was born at 7:49 that evening. By 9, I was sitting up in my own bed with a cup of tea, a bowl of soup and Dempsey was meeting the rest of her family.
My second labour started in the same way but proceeded much more quickly! Of course the problem with a fast labour is that you don’t realise it is going to be fast at the time, so all I could think was – “this is too intense, I can’t do this for another 8 hours!” That threw me completely, and I’m not sure I ever really found my focus, but 3 hours later Harper was born. I think I needed Vanessa more the second time, he was a week early, we weren’t really prepared, my brain wasn’t really in the right place – but somehow Vanessa and my sister managed to help me let go of what wasn’t important and just let the baby come. Harper was a whole kilo heavier than Dempsey, I made Vanessa weigh him again – I didn’t believe her!
I truly believe in the process of birth and the importance of keeping birth normal. I truly believe that a supportive caregiver can be pivotal in achieving that. With Vanessa’s help, I did and they are now the most empowering experiences of my life. Vanessa helped me through a life changing experience and because of that she will always be in my life. Thank you from the bottom of my heart.
- Peta Kieran
The other thing I really remember about my first pregnancy, in particular, was the pressure that statement “I’m having a home birth” applies and then people always clarified that to me with “oh well, I guess you are a midwife, so that makes it easier”. I’m sorry but I missed that class at uni! In fact sometimes the opposite is actually true, sometimes midwives carry a lot of fear which makes it harder. Vanessa was able to help me stay focussed and let go of what was out of my control.
My first labour started a couple of hours after my water broke. I was quite noisy early, very introverted and couldn’t communicate with other people which probably freaked my partner out a bit, so he called Vanessa to come quite early. Vanessa again helped me to find my focus that helped me to get through. I was almost scared of getting in the birth pool because to me, that was my last resort, if I got in the pool and couldn’t cope – then what, transfer to hospital? Of course, with encouragement from Vanessa, I got in and it was worth it. And I got in and out of it several times over the course of the day. Emptied the hot water system over and over. Vanessa was there when I needed her and in the background when I didn’t. She was patient and calm. Dempsey was born at 7:49 that evening. By 9, I was sitting up in my own bed with a cup of tea, a bowl of soup and Dempsey was meeting the rest of her family.
My second labour started in the same way but proceeded much more quickly! Of course the problem with a fast labour is that you don’t realise it is going to be fast at the time, so all I could think was – “this is too intense, I can’t do this for another 8 hours!” That threw me completely, and I’m not sure I ever really found my focus, but 3 hours later Harper was born. I think I needed Vanessa more the second time, he was a week early, we weren’t really prepared, my brain wasn’t really in the right place – but somehow Vanessa and my sister managed to help me let go of what wasn’t important and just let the baby come. Harper was a whole kilo heavier than Dempsey, I made Vanessa weigh him again – I didn’t believe her!
I truly believe in the process of birth and the importance of keeping birth normal. I truly believe that a supportive caregiver can be pivotal in achieving that. With Vanessa’s help, I did and they are now the most empowering experiences of my life. Vanessa helped me through a life changing experience and because of that she will always be in my life. Thank you from the bottom of my heart.
- Peta Kieran